| Achievement | Description | Money | EXP |
|---|---|---|---|
| Taste Of Victory | Beat a level for the first time. | $100 | +10 EXP |
| Combo King | Win a level with max combo. | $2000 | +10 EXP |
| Trying Something Different | Play a mod! | $200 | +10 EXP |
| Double Wide Surprise | Perfect level "Virgin Newbie". | $500 | +10 EXP |
| Angry Bird | Perfect level "She Doesn't Like You". | $500 | +10 EXP |
| Not Bad For A Puppy | Perfect "I Can Do It Better". | $500 | +10 EXP |
| Upstanding Employee | Perfect level "The Boss". | $500 | +10 EXP |
| Indulgence | Perfect level "Secret Weapon". | $500 | +10 EXP |
| Impossible! | Win with hardcore lube active. | $10000 | +10 EXP |
| Seriously? | Fail "She Doesn't Like You" on virgin difficulty. | $1 | +10 EXP |
| Eyes Up Here | Boop Jasmine's nose to unlock her gallery image, and then stare at her tits for 5 seconds | $500 | +10 EXP |
| Nice... | Type sixtynine into the command console | $69 | +10 EXP |